Mark

Nevertheless, to be clear. None of those statements in the last entry, or the fact I asked them of myself and of her, and hypothetically of any number of psychological professionals, should in no way be construed as an indication that I "don't want" her, and us - or that I discount either myself, or her, or us.

I don't.

I guess those questions are, to the extent possible, an attempt at "informed consent," if nothing else.

If I thought any so-called psychological professional, anywhere, and at anytime, had any real and viable alternative for either or both of us, then I would surely acquiesce, lie down, walk away and give up. The fact of the matter is that they don't. It drives them fucking nuts (lol), I am sure, to not have the enlightened answers to the questions which are desperately screamed from so many darker corners.

I suppose the strongest argument (after the obvious ones, of the age gap) that might be made against us, could, as would a similar argument if she were 10, be based upon that idea of informed consent. That is, can her consent, indeed, given her past, be informed?

Can someone who was as a powerless child touched in so many ways by more than one person, ever make any kind of informed consent, regardless their future age, with regard to someone like me, who can look, regardless the one stark difference, in so many ways like those monsters and rapists of her youth, and even of her present nightmares.

I may respect both the law, and the knowledge that a child can't make an informed consent to such things, but the only real difference, once the law is satisfied, is that I can and will and do, stop on that brink, and ask, "is this what you want, baby?"

So yes, that was all my text, last night, and the journal entry, this morning, were about.